Brokenness leads to joy

The past 6 months of my life have been beautifully broken. Let me explain. I found myself in situations where I fought God on everything he was doing in my life. My walk with Christ has always been a little complicated, for a lot of years I completely shut Him out. I’ve talked out my feelings enough to know that growth is painful and that healing means feeling every feeling that surfaces. Healing is also not linear - I completely broke down this past week over something I believed I was healed from. And in my moments of pain and frustration, I felt God say “Child, why will you not let me carry you?”. I’ve carried my chains of sin and doubt with me for so long I forget God asks us to place them at His feet. Letting go of the plan I wrote out for my life and giving it to God the past 6 months has been the most freeing feeling I’ve ever experienced. Talking with friends about the strides I’ve made in both my mental and physical health, I asked myself “will I be thankful for the days that turned me from the lamb into the lion?” and the answer is yes. I couldn’t see past the storms present in my life and looking back now those storms cleared the path I was clearly meant to be on. Standing here today, filled with love and joy, I would allow God to break me as many times He needed to in order to remake me into this version of myself. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we never weep, it means we never weep alone. I have seen God make a way when I believed there was none, I have witnessed Him move mountains for me - and He will do it again. I will probably always struggle with certain aspects in my faith and fight God on His timing of my life, but it is well within my soul knowing through it all He is carrying me. Besides, it’s pretty easy to fall in love with your life when you are living rooted in His eternal love.